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Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Importance of Preserving Home Birth

     Not too long ago, I used to think "home birth is a nice option.  An option women should have” but beyond that, not much more.  Recent events have made home birth so much more to me than “just a nice option.”

     Just over a year ago, my grandfather passed away.  Death, like birth, can affect us more profoundly than the surface would indicate.  My grandfather’s final wish was to die at home.  He was born at home more than 97 years ago, in a simple farmhouse in rural Georgia, and he wanted to leave this earth the same way.  It made me happy to be able to fulfill this wish.  I believe he held on long enough to be brought home from the hospital so he could sleep one final night in his own bed surrounded by his family.  He was called home to heaven the next morning.

     Reflecting upon this simple request made me think about the way we do things today.  You are born in the hospital, among strangers and the unfamiliar.  So too you die, surrounded by the same.  Sadly, my grandfather’s generation may be the last to have the simple gift of being both brought into this world and leaving it behind surrounded by love, family and kindness.  My mother’s generation and my own, for the most part, will not be afforded such a blessing. 

     For too long birth and death has been looked upon by the medical establishment as events that belong behind sterile hospital walls.  We must seek to preserve what has been all but lost.  It is my hope that my daughter’s generation and those after have the same opportunity to be brought into this world into gentle hands and loving hearts and that, when they are called heavenward, they go surrounded by the faces of the people who love them the most… feeling no fear, only gratitude and peace.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Product Review: Sunshine Kids RadianXTSL Convertible Car Seat



RadianXTSL is a convertible car seat for rear-facing children 5 - 45 lbs and forward-facing children 20-80 lbs in a 5-point harness. NCAP crash tested makes it the strongest car seat in the world.

Save up... It's worth it!
5out of 5
Pros: Sturdy, Easy to Adjust, Easy to install, Comfortable, Stylish, Safe
Cons: heavy but SAFE
Best Uses: Newborn, Toddlers, Infants
Describe Yourself: First Time Parent, Birth Doula
This car seat has been better than I even hoped it would be. I had read reviews about children that hated their infant car seats but love this one. I thought they were exaggerating, but my daughter does it too. She squeals with delight whenever I got to buckle her in, she even tries to help fasten it.

Okay, now to what really matters: SAFETY! This car seat is solidly constructed and has amazing stats. Sunshine Kids has a youtube channel that shows their NCAP testing, which is much higher than the industry standard that most car seats use. (As a side note: they also have helpful videos about installation and properly fitting it on your child.) It is also rear-facing up to 45 pound which should easily meet the current AAP recommendation that all children under 2 should rear-face.

We have a Buick Rendezvous and we could easily fit 3 in the backseat. I've heard people say that it didn't fit in their smaller cars, but as long as you can get the proper 45 degree angle the NTSB says a car seat can touch the front seats and be effective (as of 2011). When we have baby #2, I'll probably buy this seat outright and skip the infant seat. Time will tell.

Sunshine Kids strives to use ecologically-friendly materials and production methods and is chemical-free.

All this being said, the best car seat for your child is a car seat that fits in your car and your child and that you'll both enjoy using.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Got Cloth?

     As previously mentioned, in an effort to be more eco-friendly one of the changes I decided to attempt was adding cloth diapering to our daily routine.

     It's been a week since I ordered my PUL and prefolds and today it arrived.  While I was researching how to launder them for the first (and subsequent) times I stumbled upon a "Flats and Handwashing Challenge."  It begins May 23 - May 30.  Maybe I'm crazy being a cloth diapering novice, but I'm up to the challenge--even if it means no one shares diapering duty with me, though I hope I can get my family on board.

Here's how it works:

  • You MUST use Flats.
  • You MUST handwash them.  How is up to you.  (bathtub, sink, large wash tub, portable non electronic washing machine, or camp style washer (bucket and plunger- think churning butter)
  • You MUST air dry them.  (indoors or outdoors, makes no difference)
  • You MUST limit your number of covers in rotation to 5 or less.
  • You can use any detergent you want.  (Keep in mind that you still want cloth safe detergents)
  • You can still use your nighttime diapers but I ask that you try to make flats work.  Maybe try a prefold wrapped in a flat.
  • You can use disposable liners.
  • You CAN’T use a diaper sprayer.  I thought long and hard about this one, but at an average cost of 40.00 this is one diaper accessory that is out of range for many families.  Dunk, swish, flush, or scrape!
  • You MUST start the morning of May 23 and end the evening of May 30.
  • You MUST fill out a completion survey about your experience.  Results will be published here and can be republished on your own blog.
   So there you have it!  My simple plan to try cloth (see below) has taken on a new mission.  Between now and May 23, I shall try my hand at the endeavor below, but come May 23 it's full-steam ahead into this challenge.  If you are interested in taking this challenge yourself, pop on over to "The Flats and Handwashing Challenge" and fill out the form they have available.

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Challenge aside, back to where this all started--trying modern cloth for the first time. 

I decided to try the Sprout Change 1-size fits all (in Sweet Pea for those of you wondering.)  I also ordered 6 prefolds in organic hemp with a microfiber top layer.
 
     Here's the plan:
  • Start out using only cloth on days I have Juliet by myself. 
  • I can still use disposables for naptime until I've met the learning curve
  • Eventually expand to using only cloth for the 3 days my husband and I watch our daughter (I don't feel like I can make my mother-in-law, who generously watches her while we work, participate.)
     I plan to give a full report and review of this product and am eager to see what I come up with.  I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Eat, Drink and Be Healthy

     For some time now, in an effort to save money and eat more healthfully, my husband and I have changed our "take-out ways" and have been cooking much more at home.  This is timely because our daughter is phasing out baby food and we're being forced to prepare healthy options instead of junk with filler.

     Shortly before I began 'Through Counting to 10' I discovered blogs.  Yes, I knew of there existence, but never paid any attention to them until recently.  Food blogs are among my favorites.  Many of my favorite recipes are from bloggers who, like me, are busy moms trying to cook nutritious meals for their families while juggling work, babies and managing a household--all on a budget (because, let's face it--everyone is on a budget these days.)

   In addition to looking for ways to save money and eat more healthfully, this endeavor is another way my family can try to live in a more eco-friendly/sustainable way.  We try to buy local and organic whenever we can--not always easy to do on a budget--but it's worth making the effort. (Side note:  It's always frustrating to me that, living in Florida, citrus is hard to find that's locally grown.  Every store in my area carries California citrus.  I asked one of the produce managers why local-grown oranges and the like weren't available--he said he really didn't know but that was a really good question.  He truly did seem puzzled, not patronizing or annoyed.)

     So far we've had lots of luck cooking a variety of yummy, healthy food.  We have been less than lucky saving money.  We're having a hard time using our produce before it goes bad, thus we are wasting food and money.

     Still, I encourage all of you to join me in this challenge.  Eat, drink and be healthy (and maybe save money and the world.)  Bon appetit!

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If you are interested in checking out my favorite food blogs, check out my blog roll for that and other great resources.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Trying to be More Eco-Friendly: My Brief Game Plan

     I've been thinking of ways to more environmentally friendly and live up to the manta reduce, reuse, recycle.

     My husband I are already avid recyclers and buy the most eco-friendly products we can.  Still, I feel like we can do more.

Here's a short list of practices I hope to incorporate into our daily lives:

  • Stop using paper plates and plastic ware (this may mean bringing our own reusable stuff with us when we go somewhere people plan to use disposables)
  • Switch from paper towels to dish rags/cloth napkins (I really love paper towels so this will be a biggie!)
  • Install a clothesline and take advantage of the Florida sunshine (rainy season aside)
     I hope that, whenever we have another baby, we'll be able to use cloth diapers.  I feel SO guilty every time we empty the diaper pail and I see all of those diapers containing chemicals, plastic and poo. I just don't think I could talk Mike into switching our daughter over now.  I have, however, thought about buying her 1 cloth diaper and some pre-folds to use on the day I have her and he's at work.  It may not be much, but it's something!

     TMI Alert:  On a much more personal note, I've been looking into reusable feminine care items.  I recently purchased a cloth pantyliner to try out and bought a Diva Cup (reusable menstrual cup).  I am optimistic and hope they work out well.  My only fear about the Diva Cup is that I'll have problems because of my IUD.  I think if I'm really careful, I should be fine.

Busy, Busy

     It's been a while since I've posted so here's a quick update:

     I received my DONA paperwork.  I have completed all of the requirements leading up to attending a doula workshop.  I've had a hard time finding one in my area and can't attend one that has Thursday/Friday hours until my time off at work re-cycles.  Other than that, I've read all of the required literature and have my first letter of recommendation.  I've been compiling the resource list for my area and only have about half of it left to write.

     I feel like so much of my time goes to thinking about maternity issues and childbirth.  It's been a very consuming process.  I guess it comes with the territory when you're always doing research and it's all you read about.

      I have 3 co-workers who are expecting babies.  One who just entered her 2nd trimester, another due in July and one who's wife is due is 8-10 weeks.  I should be thrilled for all of them but I feel torn about it because I don't want them to head down a path of misinformation.  Who am I to assume that they haven't been doing extensive research, weighing options and arming themselves with the best information out there?  I have a feeling that they are doing what so many people do (heck, I did it!).  You get pregnant, you go to your OB/GYN and you get put on the maternity conveyor belt with millions of other American women.  I'm sure that their doctor's are feeding them the same misinformation that a lot of women get.  My fear is that they will be victims of the same system that failed my daughter and I.
   
     I like to think of myself as an advocate for natural childbirth, but when faced with people for whom my message would be most timely, I freeze.  I can talk for hours about our broken maternity system to anyone else, but stick a pregnant woman in front of me (or expecting father) and it's like I'm stopped dead in my tracks.  I think it's because I'm afraid that I'll be sticking my nose into a very personal situation.  How you decide to give birth is deeply personal matter.  I'm afraid that they would see it as me butting in where I'm not wanted.  Besides, who wants to hear that the people you put all of your trust in (doctors, medical establishment, hospitals) are not giving you the full story and, as a result, could (and likely may) be putting your life at risk?

     I broke down and asked one of the women, Katie, where she was having the baby.  (I figured it was a good starter question and would get the ball rolling.)  She told be that she was seeing a doctor who was in practice with several other doctors, any of whom could be the one to actually deliver her baby.  She likes them all except for one.  She plans to give birth at HealthPark (which has an excellent NICU.)  I asked her if she was nervous and she said she wasn't.  She then asked me if I had gotten an epidural.  I told her I had not nor did I need one.  She looked at me like I was a little crazy and then said she was "scared to death".  (I'm not sure how she went from not being nervous to being scared to death, but my guess is that the latter was the more honest answer.)  She asked if it hurt with an epidural and I told her, honestly, that it didn't really hurt until the last couple centimeters, that it was mostly discomfort.  I told her that, knowing a little about her medical history, I thought she could deliver without pain medication and she would find it so much more rewarding.  I let her know that I believed in her and knew her body was made perfectly to have her baby and that I was more worried about her husband than her... she could take! he might pass out.  Then I made the mistake of using the term "ring of fire."  I'm pretty sure that once she heard that term it was all she took away from our conversation.  There was no way to her that it's just a sensation that serves a physiological purpose.  Nope, I tried to chime in but she just hung on to the image of her vagina lit on fire.

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     On the home front, Juliet turned 16 months old a couple days ago.  I can't get over how fast she is growing.  We just took her to have pictures taken.  Boy, do those photo studios know who to get you!

     Her personality has changed so much from the super-laid back baby she was.  I'm certainly not saying she's difficult, she's just very strong-willed and opinionated.  She's so funny.  She'll flail and squirm her way out of your arms and the second you put her down she wails until you pick her back up.  My poor baby.  It can't be easy to have such conflicting emotions (all which she feels legitimately and intensely.)

   

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Hearing it from the Horses Mouth

Have you ever found that, even though you may know something, it still means more coming from an expert source?  Yet again, this was true yesterday.  Juliet had her 15 month Well Baby visit and my husband and I have been a little concerned that she wasn't eating enough.  Sure, technically we know that she doesn't need to consume the same amount she used to, but she eats so little sometimes that we thought we'd better ask to be sure.

Sure enough, the doctor confirmed what I already believed, quality matters more than quantity.  As anyone who has a toddler knows mealtime can become quite a struggle (battle is more like it at times).  Quality... okay, that's do-able.  Quantity... I won't worry so much.
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As a side note, I also wonder why the nurses always look puzzled when I tell them we don't give our daughter juice.  Before she turned 1, most of her nutrition came from breastmilk or formula.  No need for juice there.  Sippy training came in the form of water in her "big girl cup" and it seems to have worked out well.  Besides, the pamphlet they send you home with specifically sites that "juice is not necessary for a healthy diet."  I didn't really see a point anyway since she gets her fruit servings from actual fruit and juice is just a sugar catalyst.
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We're lucky enough to have found a pediatrician that believes in being judicious and cautious about the treatments he pursues.  He seems to take a more natural approach to things and that's just fine with me.  Knowing his philosophy on medicine makes his opinion mean even more when I need to hear things from the horses mouth.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Placenta Prejudice

How can you bring a conversation to a grinding halt?  Mention placentas, people have an unnatural fear of them.

The placenta is the unsung hero of pregnancy, a wonder and miracle of nature.  It is, quite literally along with the umbilical cord, the lifeline between mother and baby.  It's function reflects, quite accurately, its appearance; a tree of life.  With beautiful branches reaching out from its trunk.  I've always viewed it as a beautiful gift that deserves to be honored and appreciated.



Every time I bring up the subject people get squeamish and act like I'm broaching the world's most unsavory subject.  It would seem that talking about the placenta is the pinnacle of what people don't want to hear about the labor and delivery experience.  (Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little... but not much.)  My plan of action to change this is much like my approach to breastfeeding, if I do it/talk about it enough people will become desensitized to it.

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I had wanted to honor my daughter's placenta in some special way when she was born, but due to the previously blogged about distress we encountered, I'm sure it was simply whisked away without so much as thought from the hospital staff. 

After losing my chance to keep my placenta, though I hadn't decided what I was going to do with it, I set out to find a ways to ensure I wouldn't miss out next time.  I hope to have a partial lotus birth and maybe have it encapsulated... though I'm not entirely sure I can have it both ways.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

My First Midwife's Visit

Today I had my first midwife's visit.  Not for anything as excited as a new baby on the way, just the standard well women's exam.  So what did I think?

I don't know what I was expecting but these were my thoughts:

•The midwife, Ivy was tired.  Poor thing.  I've been there and didn't have a problem with it.
•She seemed disgusted that I was forced to have an episiotomy (even though I said I'd rather tear.)
•She questioned the shoulder dystocia diagnosis... thought it more likely a result of being limited in being able to move during labor (since my daughter was only 6lbs, 6oz.)
•Seemed to "get" why I chose to transfer my care to a midwife after my OB disregarded my wishes.
•I had hoped for a full tour of their birth center, but I can't complain since I technically didn't ask and was not there for pre-natal care.
•I was asked if I'd like to see my cervix (my previous 2 OB/GYN's had never offered such a thing.)

Overall, I liked my experience.  It wasn't a glitzy or glamorous as I'd made it out to be in my mind (I'm a little silly, I guess.)
I liked to holistic approach she seemed to take.  Also, it was the most painless exam I've ever had... and having a history of abnormal paps, so I've had a lot!

After jumping through hoops to have my insurance provider cover my visit, I'm glad I went through the leg work.  I would recommend midwifery care to any woman looking to be respected and treated as an equal her care and health.

I'm a little sad that I have to wait a whole year to go back.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Juliet's Birth Story

This story comes 14 months and 20 days after my daughter's birth.

Juliet was born December 15, 11 days before her due date.  My blood-pressure had been rising throughout the final months of my labor and the time came to make the call to induce.  I had hoped to have a minimally-invasive "natural childbirth" attended by my physician.  I knew once the induction bell sounded there was little chance of that happening.  My hopes to walk around during labor were dashed when I was informed at the hospital that I'd have to lay on my left side and could only get up and move around to go to the bathroom.  I didn't want continuous-fetal monitoring, but with the pitocin drip I, once again, didn't have a choice.  "Labor" began at 8:30am, though I use the term only of the medical, technocratic sense.  Four hours later my doctor dropped by and broke my water to "speed things along" even though my blood-pressure was fairly stable.  I begrudgingly agreed.  That's when I feel labor really began.

I had a feeling (as did my doctor) that labor would progress quickly.  About 2 hours later I started getting uncomfortable... not in pain really, just quite uncomfortable.  It was around that time that my husband Mike (and I really do love him to death) chose to bring up a really bad topic.  It was with that action that all of my mental fortitude broke down.  I could no longer focus on staying relaxed and letting my body do what it needed to do.  Suddenly the tension in the room became tension throughout my body... not a laboring woman's friend.  It was as if flood gates had opened and pain was washing over me in torrential rushes.


Around this time, I retreated to the bathroom.  It was there that I was most comfortable, not only laboring, but avoiding the tension that was on the other side of the door.  It was while having a contraction on the toilet that I knew things were picking up there pace.  Reluctantly, I headed out to the room and asked the nurse to check me.  (She had checked me just before I'd gone in and said I was merely 5 cm and had said I had a good 5 or 6 more hours to go.)  She did her exam, and said that nothing had changed.  But it had, she just didn't seem to agree.

I couldn't imagine another 5 or 6 hours in the pain I was in, let alone laboring on no sleep (I hadn't slept for more than 4 or 5 hours over the last several days.)  It was then that I decided to give in to the fear and asked for something to help me rest.  I remember asking Mike if I was selfish for not being able to get through it, but he assured me I wasn't because we both believed we had several hours ahead of us.  The nurse walked back with the syringe and I waited from the grogginess to to take over.

All the while, deep down, I knew that the nurse had to be wrong.  I knew my body.  Though this was my first pregnancy I believed that I knew, my body knew, how to birth my baby.  Less than a minute after receiving the drug, I felt the urge to go to the bathroom again.  I really needed to go!  With hesitation, she let me go back to the bathroom and nothing came out.  Knowing that feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom could be a sign that the baby was pushing on my bowels as she descended I asked, once again, that the nurse check me.  The frustration was visible on her face, but I insisted.  I told her I thought I was getting close.  (Mind you less than 10 minutes from her last exam had passed.)  She checked and immediately shot up, looked flustered and said that she had to go call the doctor because we were going to be delivering the baby.

After that, things are a blur.  I don't know if it was from the drugs the overwhelming pain or both.  All I can remember before the doctor arriving was telling myself over and over again not to push (which of course I was because I no longer had a say in the matter, my body had taken over.)

Once the doctor arrived, I was told I could push.  Pushing was surreal.  It was as if I had turned in to myself.  Eyes shut and, with the relief of pushing upon me, I was transported to another time, another place, another reality.  I was outside my self, but within myself in the deepest way possible.  All I could hear of the outside world was my husband, apparently underwater, counting to 10 in the most pleading voice I've ever heard.  I vividly recall feeling the doctor cut my episiotomy, but at that point I wasn't able to complain.  I was other-worldly.  I wish I could describe it better, but to this day, that's the best I can come up with.

After only 20 minutes of pushing, Juliet entered the world.  I wish desperately that I could remember it.  I have a vague recollection of her coming out and a flurry of activity.  After that, a swirly sense overtook me.  I guess that's when I started to hemorrhage.  At some point I felt the doctor tug vigorously on the umbilical cord, trying to free the placenta.  I, again. vaguely recalled that he shouldn't have been doing that, but was unable to complain.  I just figured at the time that he knew best.

Juliet, as it turns out, had shoulder dystocia

Had I listened to my body, not the nurse, I would never had agreed to the medication that likely caused her breathing problems.  Had I been awake and aware, I could have changed laboring positions and could have helped push her our more effectively.  That being said, I also believe the strict rules about only being able to lay on my side as a contributing factor to her shoulder dystocia.

I was after learning what can happen when you don't trust yourself that my re-birth began.  At the time my daughter was born, I told myself that I knew what to do and how to do it.  The problem was, I didn't believe it.
While I am grateful to the people who resuscitated my daughter and stopped my bleeding, I firmly believe that the 'cascade of interventions' caused by the distress my daughter and I both suffered.

Now, as I write this I know that I should trust my body, my inner voice.

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As a side not, Juliet is a beautiful, perfectly healthy little girl who suffered not ill side-affects from her traumatic entry into the world.

It was through these events that's I have discovered things about myself and women in general.  We were designed by God to birth our baby's naturally without intervention.  Advocating natural childbirth is now my passion.  I hope to inspire other women to trust themselves and their bodies.

We are all asked at some point, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  I followed my dreams from long ago and pursued a career working behind the scenes as a television newscast director.  Now, as a 29-year-old re-born woman who has "grown up", I can say I want to be a doula and eventually a midwife who can help women believe in their bodies and in their own inner strength.