I received my DONA paperwork. I have completed all of the requirements leading up to attending a doula workshop. I've had a hard time finding one in my area and can't attend one that has Thursday/Friday hours until my time off at work re-cycles. Other than that, I've read all of the required literature and have my first letter of recommendation. I've been compiling the resource list for my area and only have about half of it left to write.
I feel like so much of my time goes to thinking about maternity issues and childbirth. It's been a very consuming process. I guess it comes with the territory when you're always doing research and it's all you read about.
I have 3 co-workers who are expecting babies. One who just entered her 2nd trimester, another due in July and one who's wife is due is 8-10 weeks. I should be thrilled for all of them but I feel torn about it because I don't want them to head down a path of misinformation. Who am I to assume that they haven't been doing extensive research, weighing options and arming themselves with the best information out there? I have a feeling that they are doing what so many people do (heck, I did it!). You get pregnant, you go to your OB/GYN and you get put on the maternity conveyor belt with millions of other American women. I'm sure that their doctor's are feeding them the same misinformation that a lot of women get. My fear is that they will be victims of the same system that failed my daughter and I.
I like to think of myself as an advocate for natural childbirth, but when faced with people for whom my message would be most timely, I freeze. I can talk for hours about our broken maternity system to anyone else, but stick a pregnant woman in front of me (or expecting father) and it's like I'm stopped dead in my tracks. I think it's because I'm afraid that I'll be sticking my nose into a very personal situation. How you decide to give birth is deeply personal matter. I'm afraid that they would see it as me butting in where I'm not wanted. Besides, who wants to hear that the people you put all of your trust in (doctors, medical establishment, hospitals) are not giving you the full story and, as a result, could (and likely may) be putting your life at risk?
I broke down and asked one of the women, Katie, where she was having the baby. (I figured it was a good starter question and would get the ball rolling.) She told be that she was seeing a doctor who was in practice with several other doctors, any of whom could be the one to actually deliver her baby. She likes them all except for one. She plans to give birth at HealthPark (which has an excellent NICU.) I asked her if she was nervous and she said she wasn't. She then asked me if I had gotten an epidural. I told her I had not nor did I need one. She looked at me like I was a little crazy and then said she was "scared to death". (I'm not sure how she went from not being nervous to being scared to death, but my guess is that the latter was the more honest answer.) She asked if it hurt with an epidural and I told her, honestly, that it didn't really hurt until the last couple centimeters, that it was mostly discomfort. I told her that, knowing a little about her medical history, I thought she could deliver without pain medication and she would find it so much more rewarding. I let her know that I believed in her and knew her body was made perfectly to have her baby and that I was more worried about her husband than her... she could take! he might pass out. Then I made the mistake of using the term "ring of fire." I'm pretty sure that once she heard that term it was all she took away from our conversation. There was no way to her that it's just a sensation that serves a physiological purpose. Nope, I tried to chime in but she just hung on to the image of her vagina lit on fire.
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On the home front, Juliet turned 16 months old a couple days ago. I can't get over how fast she is growing. We just took her to have pictures taken. Boy, do those photo studios know who to get you!
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